A Man and His Dog

We all know that a man's best friend is his dog.   You see guys all over the place running, biking, surfing, walking, hiking, driving and playing with dogs.   It isn't a strange sight.  It's actually fairly common.  Those of us who own pets treat our pets like family.   We feed them, pet them, play with them and take care of them when they are sick.   We feel like they are our children.   I am completely on board with having a pet who is important.  My bff told me the other night that her husband complained to her that she is happier to see the dogs than to see him.  And her response to that was, "Well, they are happier to see me!" They wag their tails, they run to the door to greet her and are always, always happy to see her no matter what kind of day they had.  She told me, if her husband was like that every time she came home, she just might be happier to see him too!  

Ok ok, she has a point!  They love you no matter how you look and they tolerate all of your weirdness without a complaint.   They love you unconditionally.  Let's face
it.   The love we get from our pets is probably better than any love we'll get from our lovers.

Personally, I have a cat.   I believe a cat is the best pet for me because they are so independent. I can leave for a couple days and she isn't the least bit bothered.   I don't have to rush home to walk her and she cuddles with me every time I sit down to watch a movie.  She sleeps with me most nights too.   She puts up with me and I put up with her.   I would never give her away despite the way she tears up my furniture and screams at me at 5 a.m. every single morning.  

I know you're wondering where I'm going with this.   The point is, a pet is an awesome addition to anyone's life. I consider myself a pet lover.   While I admit, I like cats more than dogs, and I don't particularly care for a dog who licks.   In fact, it kind of freaks me out.   But, I love animals and am more than willing to include them in my life.  

So, when I started dating a guy who had a dog, I thought, cool!   He's an animal lover.   Definitely a great quality!  We had been dating a couple weeks when I was introduced to the dog.   She was  a sweet dog.  She was a pitbull mix and so was fairly large.   I didn't realize it at the time, but after that first meeting, it was now a package deal.   If I was going to see this guy, I was going to see him AND the dog.  The first time I invited him to spend the weekend at my place, he brought his dog.   I had a big yard, so I thought cool, I'll put a blanket outside and she'll be fine!  Oh NO!  Apparently, the dog hadn't spent any time outside unless she was using the facilities.  This dog, thought it was a human.   It sat on the couch and slept on the bed.   At the time, I had a full size bed.  Being single, I didn't think I needed anything larger.  A full size was just fine.  But when you get another person and a dog, along with yourself and a cat, the full size bed begins to feel more like a postage stamp. 

To rectify the situation I purchased a dog bed.   I didn't get a cheap dog bed.  It cost a pretty penny!  I surprised him and the dog with it the next time they came to visit.   The response I got was less than enthusiastic.   The guy said, "Really?  You want her to sleep on the floor?"  I'm thinking, 'Um... NO.  I just bought her her VERY OWN bed!  HELLO!?'    I don't think my mouth could have dropped any further.   I tried to negotiate, stating that my bed was just too small for ALL of us.   The guys response was, "Well, you let the cat sleep on the bed!"

I should have known right there that this relationship was doomed.   But, being the loyal, optimist I am, I decided to try and accept the situation.   So what did I do?   I went out and purchased a king size bed!  When we all got on the bed, there was plenty of room.  The dog and cat hated each other, but still managed to each get a piece of the bed.  It seemed to work out ok.  But, I admit, I was a bit annoyed. 

When I went to stay at his house, it was clear that I was the intruder.   I didn't have the audacity to bring my cat to his house.  He had a king size bed, but the dog slept in the middle of the bed.  She was on the couch, the chair, in the front seat of the car.  If we cuddled on the couch, she stood in front of us blocking our view of the tv.   It was very clear that I was not welcome.  In fact, I swear she gave me dirty looks whenever the guy wasn't looking!  Sometimes he would carry on conversations with the dog while I was in the room.   It really felt like I was intruding on a relationship that was in full swing.  

When we went places, it was all about what the dog wanted or needed.  If SHE preferred the window down then the window went down.   Once, I got out of the car and she jumped out after me and ran off.   She refused to come when she was called.  We ended up driving behind her for a mile until she got tired.  REALLY?  She was a terrible ill-behaved dog! 

The final straw was a time when I stayed the night at his place.  The dog, of course, tried to push me out of the bed a few times.   I managed to hold my ground.   In the morning as the guy was leaving for work, he came over to the bed, leaned down and started hugging and kissing the dog while talking baby talk to her.   I watched this public display of affection with disgust.   The dog was licking his face and he was letting her.   Did I tell you that a licking dog just freaks me out?   Anyway, after this went on for way too long, the guy stops, comes over to the corner of the bed I was relegated to and leans down to give me a kiss.  Oh HELL NO!   Which I think actually came out of my mouth.   "I'm not kissing you after THAT!"   The dog gave me her standard dirty look.  The guy was shocked!   He didn't think I was serious and tried to kiss me again.  This time, I pushed him away and said, "You've got dog slobber all over you.... yuck."  He tried to wipe it away with the back of his hand.   I gave him a hug and told him I'd see him later that day.  

I spent the rest of the day pondering.    I truly believe this guy had made the dog his significant other.   It was clear that the dog had seen other women come and go.   She could not have cared less about me.  In fact, as I thought about it, she literally ignored me.   Most dogs seek out affection from others.  This one did not care if I ever pet her.   I believe she 'allowed' me to pet her. In any event, I can't blame the dog for this strange union.  It was clearly the guy who had allowed this dog/human relationship to exist.   Needless to say, I stopped seeing the guy.

Now, whenever I see a guy with his dog.  Or meet a guy who talks about his dog.  Or talk to a guy who claims to have a 'best buddy', I start to wonder if he is having a relationship with his canine companion.  People are weird.

I hope one day I find a guy who is an animal lover who is also a human lover. Until then, the cat and I will share a third of this giant bed and maintain a HEALTHY owner/pet relationship.