Who is the man/woman behind the curtain?
Haven't you run into someone in your day to day routine and wonder the same thing? People, on the surface, can seem so ordinary and plain. You see the parents taking the kids to soccer practice, attending the school play and volunteering to chaperone the field trip. You talk to people every day at work and have little superficial conversations about the game, the weather, the office politics. You go to the grocery store and see the same clerk and the same bagger and exchange pleasantries, knowing you will forget the name you read from their pinned-on label the moment they are out of sight. How many times do we actually stop and take notice of the people we see and interact with every day? I don't know about you, but I seldom give people much thought. I've heard that people are inherently selfish. Is it true? Are we so self absorbed that we cannot reach outside of ourselves to discover the wonders of those around us?
Every once in a while we run into someone in our world that demands to be noticed. I'm not sure what you call it or how to describe it, but a spark initiates the curiosity within and suddenly you want to know more about this person. You are interested! You might be interested enough to stop and ask a question or two.
So now let's turn it around. How are WE perceived in the world? How do people see us as we maneuver through the day? How do we want to be seen and noticed? Are we more comfortable hiding behind the superficial conversations or do we allow ourselves to be known, truly known for who we are?
I think if we ARE noticed and someone becomes interested in learning more, our first defense is still a shell of our true being. For me, my outer shell is smiling, cheery, laughing, and upbeat. I don't share my writing or aspirations with people until I allow them inside. Getting to the inside takes a while. Very few get that far.
Recently, a good friend of mine shared a view as a comment to 'Zesty Men'. The entry was:
Men want to be remembered, not known!
I love to be recognized, admired, maybe slightly envied. But terrified of being known. When I travel and meet new people, often others in their group have at least heard my name. Call me Jack and you have my attention. Now I don't go by my given name, what's on my drivers license, so when someone address me by it, I know they are not in my world.
The reason I don’t like being addressed by my first name is I am terrified of being known, being Ralph. He is the weak one, that didn’t date much, last pick in gym class and went to the Prom with a friend. So on my outside I’m Jack, the cool guy that has connections, knows people, places and is very interesting. Ralph is the loser on the inside with the goofy name I’ll never shake. So ladies you don’t want to know me, but want Jack and will love having a great experience you’ll always remember.
This entry echoes the reality that we provide the shell to most and seldom allow others inside to explore our true being. We protect who we are, even from ourselves. We create a layer of personality in the hopes that it will satisfy those who are curious about us. Most the time it does. We rarely reveal the core of our being to another soul. Hell, we rarely reveal the core to ourselves.
I have always been in awe of the artist, Eminem. While I'm not much into the rap scene and don't particularly like the way he expresses himself, I completely admire the fact that he DOES express himself. He allows the world to see the inside. His lyrics are raw and uninhibited. He reveals his core in his art and allows the world to see it, hear it, criticize it, analyze it and judge.
There's the word, JUDGE. We judge ourselves as we believe others will judge us. We don't think our insides are worthy of exposure so we hide and never share the wonderful treasures others may find enlightening, beneficial, creative, provocative. Don't we owe it ourselves and to others to share? Don't we owe it to others and to ourselves to discover the treasures of those around us?
Maybe today we will take the time to ask a question or two, remember the names of those we interact with, get to know a little something about the people we see. Who knows, you could learn something incredible. And maybe, just maybe, we can answer a question or two from our core rather than giving the shell of a person we've relied upon to protect our true selves.
