There's been a lot of discussion lately on the changing men in our country. I've linked to some articles below for you. I thought I'd give you some of my thoughts on this.
First I had to define 'feminist'. At it's basic definition a feminist is one who supports equality of women in social, political and work place settings. I am a full supporter of this! However, I do not support the feminist movement that supports the feminization of men and the masculinization of women. The crosswalk article below discusses the masses of men who have been raised in divorced families leaving many boys to be raised solely by women basically removing the male role model from his childhood. While I agree that this has caused some 'feeling' men to emerge into society, I do not believe it is the major culprit.
We women have been striving so long and hard to become equal to men that we have overstepped our
bounds. Not only have we sought to be equal in a social setting, we have sought to become equal in the relationship and at home. We have fuzzied the lines between the protector and the keeper. The protector is the one who keeps the home secure from intruders, provides stability, strength, a safe environment. The keeper is the one who provides the loving home, sustenance and nurtures the family. These are our natural roles. These are things that come naturally to our genders, in most cases.
I found this great website and article discussing the focus on men to become all things, while we women are expected to do nothing in return.
http://artofmanliness.com/2009/12/20/what-can-manly-men-expect-of-women/
It hurts me to admit that I find that I am part of this problem. The attributes I hope to find in a man are extensive: I want a chef, a mechanic, a nurturer, a fighter, a reader, a handyman, a lover, an intellect, a social butterfly, a comedian, wine connoisseur, a traveler, an athlete... well you get the idea. That is ridiculous! No one person can be all of that. It is crazy for women to expect it. I want a feminine/masculine man. Really?
So, let's discuss what women are willing to be for a man. ..... ....... ....... ........
Ok, I'm drawing a blank. Do we ever think of being anything FOR a man anymore? No, we strive to be our own person, to have a fulfilling life, to choose when and how we will start a family, IF we start a family. We focus on our education and careers to get ahead. I'm not sure about you, but do you ever sit and ponder what you can do or be to fulfill what a man wants? Are we getting the education so that we can be interesting to talk to? Are we striving for the high powered career so we can provide for the family? Are we honing any skills to ensure that once we catch a man, we can give him what he needs and desires? Are we learning how to raise children in today's society? Are we learning to become nurturers and providers of a loving home? Are we trying to be a feminine at all?
Femininity. When you see that word, what do you think of? I think of heels, nails, hair...physical attributes. Is that all is means? Definition: delicate, pretty, modest, graceful, affectionate.
Masculinity: When you see that word, what do you think of? I think of physical strength, confidence, boldness. Finding a definition of masculinity took some doing. Definition: strong, robust, aggressive, virile.
I guess I'm beginning to see that the tides are turning and maybe men are getting a raw deal. We continue to demand and bash them for not being sensitive and feeling, yet we want the strong, able bodied man who will protect us from everything. The only thing I see women doing these days is trying to look good. We have medical/beauty spas everywhere, trying to turn back the signs of aging. Gyms and exercise paths, groups, clubs everywhere in the name of being fit. But is that all a man wants? A woman who looks good? What else are the women doing for men? Please, help me find those other 'things'. Still drawing a blank.
I know I'm not capturing all of the views here. It just seems to me that we women are making all kinds of demands of men but are unwilling to allow them to demand from us. Is that truly fair?
I guess I'm struggling internally because I have become something of a masculine/feminine. I have learned to dry wall, mow the lawn, work on the car, shoot a gun. I define myself as 'independent'. Have I learned any of the feminine skills? NO. I can't cook, I rarely clean, I can't sew. And I have no desire to learn these skills. I AM, however, willing to exercise and try and look good. Pathetic.
Please give me your thoughts....can't wait!
Related articles:
http://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/in-search-of-manliness-the-feminized-male-11602193.html
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2012/07/what-happened-to-all-manly-men.html
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