Friendship Expiration

Have you ever had a person enter into your life, make a huge impact, and then leave just as quickly as they entered? Do you have childhood friends that are still in your life?  Are you friends with members of your family?  Is your family your friend network?  As we grow older, the number of people who enter and leave our life is astounding.  There are so many!   

 

Co-workers sometimes become more than just co-workers or acquaintances.   They become true friends whom you share your personal life with and then one day, one of you leaves the job.  You


 both commit to stay in contact, and you may even have lunch a few times, meet for happy hour for a few months.  But as you no longer see this person on a daily or weekly basis as part of your job, the common ground you both shared seems to fade.   Eventually, this person you shared your personal life with is no longer a regular player in your life.  Slowly your friend becomes a distant memory and if you saw them at Costco in 10 months you would have the small talk so many people have when they don’t really know each other anymore.  “HI!  It’s been forever!  How’s the family?  Are you still working for so and so?  We really SHOULD have lunch!” Again, you both commit to see each other, but it never really happens. 

Then there’s the group of 6 ladies you travel with three times a year.  We all make a commitment to see places we haven’t been to.   For years, the regular trips are planned.  The ladies make arrangements to meet in the city of choice.  The weekend is for ladies only!   The cocktails flow, the food is constant and the laughter never stops as we talk about the hairs showing up in place you never thought hairs would grow.   True common ground is established as we all realize we have the same stories and the same challenges at home.  We bond for the weekend, truly appreciate the genuine connection that we all felt, then return to our regularly scheduled lives of work, school, children, husbands and the daily grind of life.   The players change through the years as new friends are introduced to the groups and old friends cannot or will not take the time to and money to attend.  Even as the faces change, every ladies weekend is just as awesome as the last. The memories and laughter of each trip begin to blend together until we can longer determine which trip it was when Susan tripped over her own feet, fell face forward and proclaimed, “Thank God my boobs are so big, I could have broken my nose!”  Or which casino we were in when Lana’s shoe broke---right in front of the cameras for a televised poker tournament.  Or that time when we were all escorted by the Mr. Universe contestant.  Can we remember his name?    The stories are numerous and all hilarious.   As I write this, I think it has been almost two years since we had a ladies’ weekend.  Will they happen again?  Maybe future trips will be with a completely new set of ladies. 

Friendships are sometimes very temporary. But they always leave a memory. The memory is the connection.  It is what was given to us while we were graced with another soul’s presence.   No one can take those away.  No one else will have the feeling that arises when the thought comes across your mind.  It is all yours to savor or try and forget.   But either way, the fact that you had this encounter is the gift.   We are all given gifts of friendships so many times throughout our lives.    

I used to be sad and upset when a friendship ended.  But now I view the time with that friend as something to appreciate and love.   I had the opportunity to bond with another human being.  The experience left me with new knowledge, a new perspective, and beautiful memories that will be with me forever.   I have a few friends that are lifetime friends.   They have always been a part of my life.  Life has challenged the bonds and yet with these few friends, those life obstacles have not broken the connection.   We continue to be close no matter the distance and time between contacts.   I wonder if these friendships have an expiration date.   I can’t imagine my life without them.  

Today, when I meet another person I immediately connect with, I take the initiative to explore.   I make the time to allow the gift to come, in whatever form it comes.   Sometimes the encounter is very short.  Other times the encounter lasts for years.  Either way I know that I will be a better person for allowing the friendship to be.  When it ends or changes I will appreciate what was given to me.  So, today, savor your friendships, whether they are still a major part of your life or a memory you can call upon that will put a smile on your face.  Either way you have been blessed with something truly awesome.   

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. Albert Schweitzer