In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. Alice Walker
This week I was having a conversation with one of my male friends. This guy perceives himself as a man's man. Refuses to 'manscape' as he calls it. What exactly does this mean, I asked. It means, no manicures, pedicures or plucking of the ear hair and it certainly doesn't mean trimming the hair 'down there'. I find this interesting since most men prefer a woman who goes to great lengths to hide her human traits such as shaving the legs, arms, armpits and plucking out those wiry renegades around the chin area. Let's talk about the hair 'down there'. Yes, women either trim, shave or wax it off. It seems, lately, that men demand that it be baby bare. What is up with this? It doesn't stop with just women! I started looking at some of the male advertisements and it appears that men no longer have hair on their chest. When's the last time you saw a picture of a man with hair? In fact, I was standing in line at the grocery store the other day and noticed the guy in front of me didn't have any hair on his legs. Really? What did he do? Shave it? Wax it? What is happening to society? So is my friend making a statement by refusing to 'manscape'? Is he a dying breed? Or is it just the media trying to make us believe that men don't have hair on their chests anymore. The media has already convinced us that women must be perfect, right?
I was home sick this week and was desperately trying to find something to stare at since I was just too sick to think, much less type. As I was wandering Netflix Instant Watch I came across a movie with Timothy Hutton, Matt Dillon, Rosie O'donnell and Natalie Portman. Star cast! It must be good. Well, fate was with me because nestled in this 3 star movie was a fantastic monologue by Rosie O'donnell's character. I found the scene in words on line of course and have copied it here. The set up is this. Rosie and two 'guys' are following her as she is shopping at the local grocer. She greets the men behind the counter and stops at the magazine rack to pull out a Penthouse magazine. Her monologue is so right on, I had to share it with you. Here you go:
You’re both fucking insane. You wanna know what your problem is? MTV, Playboys, and Madison fucking Avenue. Yes. Let me explain something to you okay? Girls with big tits have big asses, girls with little tits have little asses. That’s the way it goes. God doesn’t fuck around, he’s a fair guy. He gave the fatties big, beautiful tits, and the skinnies little, tiny niddlers. It’s not my rule. If you don’t like it, call Him. Hey Mitch. Thank you. Oh guys, look what we have here. Look at this, your favorite. Oh, you like that? Yeah, that’s nice, right? Well, it doesn’t exist, okay? Look at the hair. The hair is long, it’s flowing, it’s like a river. Well, it’s a fucking weave, okay? And the tits. Please, I could hang my overcoat on them. Tits, by design, were intended to be suckled by babies. Yes, they’re purely functional. These are silicone city. And look, my favorite, the shaved pubis. Pubic hair being so unruly and all. Very keen. This is a mockery, this is a sham, this is bullshit. Implants, collagen, plastics, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush, these are not real women, alright? They’re beauty freaks. And they make all us normal women with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, hi Bob, our cellulite, seem somehow inadequate. Well, I don’t buy it, alright? What you fuckin mooks, you think is that there’s a chance in hell that you’ll end up with one of these women you don’t give us real women anything approaching a commitment. It’s pathetic. I don’t know what you think you’re going to do. You’re going to end up 80 years old, drooling in some nursing home, and then you’ll decide that it’s time to settle down, get married, have kids? What are you going to do find a cheerleader? Charge it, Mitch. Oh, eat me. Look at Paul, with his models on the wall, his dog named Elle Macpherson. He’s insane! He’s obsessed. You’re all obsessed. If you had an ounce of self-esteem, of self-worth, of self-confidence, you would realize that as trite as it may sound: beauty is truly skin deep. And you know what? If you ever did hook one of those girls, I guarantee you’d be sick of her. Get over yourself. … No matter how perfect the nipple, how supple the thigh, unless there’s some other shit going on in the relationship besides physical, it’s gonna get old, okay? And you guys, as a gender, have got to get a grip, otherwise the future of the human race is in jeopardy.
Beautiful Girls, 1996
There you have it, the results of models, media and plastic surgery for those with money. The rest of us don't have a chance if men truly believe that women as a whole look anything like what it shoved in their faces every day. A few months ago my daughter showed me a website that gave the before and after looks of celebrities and models. These photos are so altered that they hardly resemble the original woman. http://www.messynessychic.com/2010/10/12/the-reality-of-celebrity-photoshop-before-and-after/.
It isn't fair that women are presented to be perfect in media while the rest of us are out here being normal with wrinkles, cellulite and bad hair. While I realize that media does not just do this to women, they also do it to male models and celebrities. But I am having a difficult time finding many articles on the impacts of photoshopped men. Maybe it's too early to know what the impact will be to society.
I decided to dig a little deeper. I found this Ethical Inquiry dated August 2012 by Brandeis University. It does an awesome job summarizing the news, critiques, studies and results of beauty presented and perceived in media. It states, in part, that in 2009, the Liberal Democrat members of the British Parliament sought to impose Photoshop restrictions upon advertisements and magazines. Also in 2009, Valérie Boyer, a member of the French Parliament, proposed a law that would “require all digitally altered photographs of people used in advertising to be labeled as retouched.” In 2010. Kate Ellis, Austrailia's youth minister proposed a law that would require altered photos in advertisements and magazines to be printed with disclaimers. Finally, in March of 2012, Israel passed a law that requires advertisements to disclose when their models have been digitally thinned. The law also banned underweight models - or models who appear underweight - from appearing in ads whatsoever in an attempt to “change idealized perceptions of beauty.” I highly recommend reading the rest of this inquiry at: http://www.brandeis.edu/ethics/ethicalinquiry/2012/August.html.
Young men and women all over the world are looking at magazines, television and movies where the images are altered. They are not altered just a little bit, they are altered drastically giving the consumer a completely deceptive image. Men now expect women to be hairless, thin and without any imperfections such as freckles, moles, wrinkles or scars. Women will soon begin to expect men to be completely fit, flawless and without hair on their chests.
I guess my point here is that we are all human beings with flaws and imperfections. Some of us have true defects. It is a shame that our society cannot embrace these truths and celebrate these unique traits. We all have something different that makes us imperfect. I had the opportunity to meet Angela Rockwood a few months ago. She is the creator and one star of the show, Push Girls on the Sundance Channel. Here is a vivacious, beautiful, intelligent woman who has adapted to her defects and not only embraced them but publicly displays them on national television. Check it out: http://www.sundancechannel.com/push-girls/
Don't let the media influence your perception of beauty. Although we don't see it much anymore, women DO have hair on their arms, legs and armpits. Men DO have hair on their chests, legs and back. Renegade whiskers show up in the weirdest places and some of us have huge scars or birthmarks. We all have our own unique traits and we should be proud of them. They are what make us who we are. My friend has the perogative to refuse to manscape. He has not fallen under the spell of the social media and forgotten what a true man is supposed to be.
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