He should be shot!

Today, I was talking with, Adam, who is recently separated and entering the dating scene after a 16 year marriage.  He has been meeting women on match.com and has recently been seeing a woman named Karen.   She, too, is newly separated after a 13 year marriage.  Adam and Karen have been talking and texting regularly and have been out together a few times.  Adam has reported that she is witty, friendly and fun to hang out with.   Because their jobs and children come first, scheduling time together has been difficult.   In fact, in the three months since they met, I believe they have only been on three dates.  

Finally, last weekend, Adam and Karen were able to schedule a weekend together in the wine country.  Adam had been planning this weekend for a while and was excited about spending the time with her.  He came right over afterwards to report the events of the weekend:

Adam:  Well, Karen was able to get away with me this weekend.   We went out for dinner and drinks and then went back to the room.  She was awfully nervous, so we started talking.   OMG!   Can you believe that she has never had an orgasm?

When Adam said this I couldn't believe it.  How could this be?  This woman is in her 30's.  She's been married, has children, has clearly had sex on several occasions.   How could she have NEVER had an orgasm.  So, in my shock I asked many questions.    In fact, her ex husband was her first lover and only lover.   It turns out he did actually give her ONE O in their marriage.   He has never performed cunninglus on her and has never ensured she acheived a climax before expending himself.  He has, in their 13 years of marriage, been selfishly pleasuring himself without a second thought to her pleasure.    His answer to her lack of pleasure?  You can take care of that yourself. He should be shot!!!

Adam went on to tell me that he managed to show her his skills and provide her with three climaxes without intercourse.  He boasted about his prowess and referenced the ex husband as a Ford Fiesta and himself as a Ferrari.     While Adam was clearly trying to boost his ego, I had to point out to him that his skills were being compared to a man who clearly had none.  So, the boasting could come down a notch or two.  They spent the rest of the weekend discussing her experience and exploring the basics of sex.   Adam suggested she purchase a vibrator and begin exploring her likes.  She, apparently, could give him no direction or feedback on what she liked and didn't like. Adam found this frustrating.  He didn't really want a virgin.  He expected a woman of her 30's with some sexual experience.  He has his work cut out for him.  He stated he can't stop seeing her just because she's inexperienced.   Mighty big of him!  LOL

The fact that this woman spent the last 13 years in a basically sexless marriage is pathetic and wrong.   I have come across a few selfish men, but this is the first I've heard of a relationship continuing for 13 years never providing the woman with pleasure.  

I would love to hear your experiences and thoughts on this.   Should he be shot?  Does she have any responsibility?   Is she to blame?   Is this a common thing in relationships?  What would you do if you were Adam?